One of the sadder parts of being detransitioned and public about it is that the parents find you. They’ve been told by a doctor or a social worker that the only route forward that protects against suicidality is to affirm their kid’s trans identity. That they need to be open to the possibility their kid may need their pubertal process disrupted, may need to begin what could within a couple of years turn into a life time commitment to cross sex hormones, and could need surgeries to socially function. They’ve been told asking questions about the impact of their kid’s…

Grace is a detransitioned woman in the Midwest who you can follow on Twitter @hormonehangover. She recently spoke to the doctor that prescribed her HRT and wrote the referral letter for her top surgery. She’s exceptional for doing so- in my circle only a handful of detransitioners have gone back to inform their doctors about their detransition. We spoke about her decision to initiate the conversation and the consequences of the experience, with the hope it will help other detransitioners consider whether they’re up to have the talk.

Why did it feel important to talk to the doctor who enabled…

I often resent the expectations made of detransitioners. In my dream world when you detransitioned there would be therapists you could actually access who have experience with patients going through detransition, you could say (publicly!) whatever you wanted about your choices and why you made them without being made into a symbol, and people wouldn’t demand much ideological loyalty out of you, since fundamentally you’re just a person who went through a weird, hard thing.

The main responsibility I wish detransitioners could opt out of would be being assumed to be a potential resource for helping other gender dysphoric patients…

This is a guide for after the moment when everything gets weird, when the background noise gets muffled, and the pace of the world slows way down. This is a guide for when you might be having a very bad dream, but that would suggest the last couple years of your life have been a bad dream, which is not comforting to consider. …

Guys, this essay is a failure. I was thinking, “Hey, trans people with big audiences are saying detransitioners should have thought harder before transitioning. Maybe that will lead some people considering medical transition to ask where they could get a more structured, comprehensive process than one session at an informed consent clinic. Maybe I can point them on where to go in North America to get that process!”

This was more ambitious than I knew. Trans healthcare is guided by the World Professional Association for Transgender Health’s Standards of Care, now in its seventh edition. Here’s what’s interesting about the…

Hi Carey,

I am a transgender identifying teen who feels caught between the ultra-affirming trans culture and transphobia. I’m terrified by stories of detransition, and want to make sure I don’t make the wrong choice to transition, however the need to transition is very compelling. I guess I’m looking for any advice you would give to a young trans person on avoiding having to detransition.

I’m so relieved to hear you’re terrified of detransition. Recently the backlash to detransitioners’ heightened visibility in the media have been opinion pieces which argue “De-transition is rare and not as bad as people think.”…

In 2012, about two months after I attended the Philadelphia Trans Health Conference (red flag) where I had made a group of new friends (red flag) and had fallen in love with a non-binary person who lived with their polyamorous partner in Brooklyn (1,2,3 red flags), me and my new sweetie had a conversation about the possibility I may regret the testosterone injections my therapist had recently written a letter clearing me for.

I had scheduled with the therapist shortly after returning from Philly, so I had seen her for about 5 sessions total (red flag.) She had administered only…